Kingdom Hearts: High School Stories
by Hashimerr
Summary: My first fan fiction go easy on me! with everyone in high school, humor, and pairings that would never cross your mind. Rated M for language only.
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note: Hello everyone! I've re uploaded chapter 1 because for some reason it removed Aeris' name making everything look very stupid. I'll be going through the other chapters to see if anything else is totally screwed up so I can replace it. A new chapter is coming soon yay! **

(Walking to the bus)

Roxas: I can't believe we have to go back to school again.

Axel: I know this shit is so gay.

Sora: Well, I kind of like school.

(Everyone looks at Sora)

Sora: ...

Riku: I should've known you'd say some shit like that.

Xemnas: Well, this is the last year for me so; I guess y'all are just fucked.

Xigbar: Snakes on a motha fuckin plane! There's the bus!

(The bus is slowly closing its doors while the others run up to it.)

Xemnas: Where's Sora, did he make it on the bus?

Sora: Yeah, I'm right here!

Xemnas: Damn...

(As they walk down the aisle, they see some more people.)

Demyx: Look, there are some more people getting on the bus!

Saix: No shit Sherlock. I wonder if Xemnas still goes to this school.

Xemnas: Hey, Saix!

Saix: Damn...

Kairi: Hi Sora!

Sora: Kairi!

(Riku just looks at him running to her and he rolls his eyes and laughs.)

Cloud: Hey Sephiroth! Is that a new cell phone? Can I see it?

Sephiroth: Number one: yes, it is new. Number two: Hell no you can't see it!

Roxas: Hey Axel, what grade are you going to be in?

Axel: I don't know?

Roxas: You don't know what grade you're going to!

Axel: Umm...no.

Roxas: Wow! You're a dumbass!

Axel: But, Xigbar doesn't know either!

Xigbar: Yes I do! I'm going to 11th grade! You are going to 10th grade!

Roxas: I'm going to 9th grade.

Sora: Yeah, me too!

Roxas: So.

(The bus pulls up at school.)

Xemnas: So Saix, how do you think our new school is going to be?

Saix: I think it's going to suck ass.

Xemnas: My thoughts exactly.

(Kairi and the others come running up to Xemnas and Saix.)

Kairi: Wow, it's so big!

Saix: Yeah, I am.

Kairi: Eww...I meant the school.

Riku: Hey look, there's Larxene!

(Larxene turns around and Demyx is walking up to her.)

Larxene: Hey Demyx, are they coming over here to me?

Demyx: Um, yeah. They are.

Larxene: Damn...

Everyone in the story so far: LARXENE!

Larxene: What the fuck are their problems?

(She runs into the school, and everyone else comes running in too.)

-First Period- 12th grade

Xemnas: Do you think our teacher's gonna be a girl? Do you think she's gonna be cute? Do you think she's gonna give a lot of homework?

Saix: Do you think you could shut the fuck up?

Xemnas: ...You mother fu-

Teacher: Hello students! My name is Ms. Aeris. Welcome to another fine year of school!

Everyone in class: ...Whatever.

: Well, let's get the day started! Xemnas!

Xemnas: See Saix, I knew this was gonna happen! The teacher sees me and instantly gets attracted to me.

Saix: (Rolls his eyes) whatever you say...

: Xemnas!

Xemnas: Yes, my love?

: ...

Saix: Um Xemnas, I think she's calling attendance.

Xemnas: Oh shit...I'm here!

: Thank you! Um... I think it's pronounced, Sex?

Saix: -sighs- its Saix! My name is Saix!

: Okay, okay! Saix!

Saix; I'm here, I'm here! Damn...

: All right, now let's finish this up.

(After a long attendance list...)

: Okay, now I will be teaching 12th grade Math.

Xemnas: I love math class. (Looks at .)

: Umm...good for you...Now, let's start the lesson.

(Ms. Aeris is writing notes on the board while the class writes them down too.)

Saix: (Whispering) Xemnas. Xemnas. Hey, Xemnas.

Xemnas: (Ignoring Saix)

( looks back at Saix and Xemnas with a mean look.)

Saix: Xemnas...Xemnas. XEMNAS!

Xemnas: NO Saix! Leave me alone! I do not want to buy any weed from you!

(The whole class starts laughing and turns all the way around looking very angry.)

Saix: (looking stupid) What the fuck...

: Xemnas, Saix, come to detention with me after school.

Xemnas and Saix: Damn...

(The bell rings and everyone walks out of class.)

Xemnas: You were being very bad in class today. I don't know why I'm going to detention.

Saix: You heard me calling you! We sit right next to each other, what's your problem?

Xemnas: (looks at Saix stupidly) I don't know, but the more I think about it, I think she wanted me to stay after school so we can do it. I think she wanted you to come because...I don't know. Maybe so you can watch or something.

Saix: Get...the hell...away...from me.

(Saix begins to walk faster.)

Xemnas: Aw, come on Saix. Don't leave. Don't leave me here!

(Xemnas and Saix go to 2nd period and so do the others.)


	2. 11th Grade

YAY! SECOND CHAPTER!!

-Second Period- 11th grade

Xigbar: So far so good.

Larxene: Yeah, I can't wait to see what lame teacher we have for this period.

Cloud: I just asked some people and they said that the teacher for this class is a guy named Ansem.

Sephiroth: Ansem? Sounds familiar.

Xigbar: I think that's him now.

Larxene: Ha, I bet he's a weird looking freak.

(Larxene turns around to see Mr. Ansem.)

Larxene: Holy shit. He's beautiful...

Mr.Ansem: It seems as though everyone's a little off schedule to day. Let's get things started ASAP. By the way, you all can just call me Ansem.

Larxene: Ansem...

Ansem: Yes?

Larxene: Umm...never mind, it was nothing. Just a stupid question.

Ansem: Now remember, no question is a stupid question.

Larxene: Umm, are you married?

Ansem: ...

Xigbar: Damn, now that was a stupid ass question.

Larxene: Xigbar...go to hell.

Ansem: Well actually, no. I'm not married.

Larxene: Well, do you have a girlfriend?

Xigbar: -sighs- There she goes with the stupid ass questions again.

Ansem: I don't have a girlfriend either. Why?

Larxene: Oh, I...just wanted to know a little bit about my teacher.

Ansem: Well, how about I ask you a few questions?

Larxene: ...Um... (In her mind: please someone change the subject!)

(Xigbar, Cloud, and Sephiroth look at Larxene like she's crazy.)

Sephiroth: Ansem, can I ask you a question?

Ansem: Sure.

Sephiroth: I want to get the hell out of here so, are we starting class soon?

Ansem: ...Uh yeah, he's right. We should start class now...

(Ansem begins class. About 30 minutes later, Ansem is about to pass out a pop quiz.)

Ansem: All right class. I have a surprise for you.

Cloud: Let me guess...is it...pie!

Ansem: No...

Cloud: Umm...a new diary for Sephiroth?

Sephiroth: Son of a bitch...

Ansem: Hell no!

Cloud: Well then what is it? -Please say porn-

Ansem: No! A pop-quiz!

Cloud: Damn...

Xigbar: But, why? It's only the first day of school!

Ansem: I just want all of you to take this test so I can see what you already know. So, in other words...the more you write on your test, the more you know.

Larxene: Well then Xigbar should have a short test.

Xigbar: -angry voice- You know what Larxene...

Ansem: Okay! Everyone shut the fuck up! I'm passing the quiz out now!

Everyone in the class: ...

(Ansem begins to hand a quiz to everyone.)

Sephiroth: Ummm...he's the teacher...is he allowed to say that?

Larxene: Oh well. What's been said has been said. He can't take that back. Besides, it's nothing we haven't heard before.

(Everyone starts the quiz. 30 minutes pass and Ansem stands up.)

Ansem: Okay class! Time is up. Pass your quizzes up to the front.

Xigbar: Shit.

Sephiroth: What?

Xigbar: I didn't finish...

(Ansem grabs Xigbar's test.)

Ansem: Too bad. Class is over.

(The bell rings and everyone walks out.)

Larxene: Goodbye Ansem!

Ansem: Bye Larxene! Have a good day!

(In the hallway...)

Larxene: Haaa...I think I'm in love...

Xigbar: I knew you'd fall for me one day...

Larxene: Not you mother fucker! I mean Ansem.

Xigbar, Cloud, and Sephiroth: Whatever...

Larxene: No, I'm serious!

(All four of them go running to third period and so do the others.)


	3. 10th Grade

-Third period- 10th grade

Demyx: I can't wait until lunch. I'm hungry as hell.

Axel: That just doesn't make any sense! How can hell, a place, be hungry?

Demyx: ...Please...shut up...

(Riku runs into class and sits next to Axel and Demyx.)

Riku: I just saw our teacher in the hallway! He looks like he would kick our asses!

Demyx: Uh oh! What is his name? Did he say where he was from?

Riku: Damn! I only saw him! I didn't ask him his whole life story!

Axel: Look Riku, is that him?

(The teacher walks through the doorway and everyone shuts the fuck up.)

Teacher: Hello class. My name is Mr. Xaldin. I will be your 10th grade literature teacher.

Demyx: Hi Xaldin! Hey guess what? I know him!

Xaldin: ...yeah...-sighs- hi Demyx...

Axel: Um, Xaldin, I know Demyx, so...does this mean that I know you?

Xaldin: No. What's your name?

Axel: Axel...

Xaldin: Well, now you do.

Riku: My name is Riku!

Xaldin: So. Did I ask what your name was?

Riku: ...

Xaldin: I'm just playin'! Hi Riku! But seriously class, we need to get started.

Demyx: Xaldin! What are we going to do today? Are we taking a pop-quiz, because I heard from a 9th grader that heard from a 12th grader that heard from a 10th grader that a 11th grader-

Xaldin: Damn Demyx, just wait! I just got into the fucking classroom, I didn't even get to sit in the damn chair and I hardly got to start the damn class and you're already asking me all these damn

questions! Just sit down and I'll soon start the class...

Everyone in the class: ...

Axel: Damn...

Demyx: ...Xaldin...you hurt my feelings... (Demyx looks sad like he's about to cry.)

Xaldin: -sighs- Ummm...look, I'm sorry Demyx...

Demyx: (Suddenly happy again) That's Okay!

Xaldin: Okay...I'm gonna give each of you a literature book. When you get the book, read pages 3-30. After you read that, answer questions 1-10 on page 31.

Riku: That's a lot of shit to do...

Xaldin: Well then, your ass better get started.

(Everyone works on some...work. 50 minutes pass and Xaldin stands up.)

Demyx: Oh shit, I'm not done yet!

Xaldin: You're not done. After 50 minutes, your ass still ain't done?

Demyx: Uhh...yeah, that's about right.

Xaldin: Well, you never should have been fooling around.

Demyx: I wasn't fooling around, I was-

Xaldin: Okay, shut up and give me your paper. Class, we only have about 10 more minutes left so-

(The bell suddenly rings.)

Xaldin: What the hell? Oh well, get out. Bye everyone, have a good lunch.

(In the hallway...)

Axel: That class was better than I had expected.

Riku: What do you mean? All we did was sit there and read.

Axel: Exactly.

Riku: Okay...

Demyx: Yes! Finally it's lunch time! I can't wait to see the others!

Riku: Oh yeah, I almost forgot that everyone eats lunch at the same time.

Axel: Well, everyone doesn't eat at the same time or we all wouldn't be able to fit in the lunch room.

Riku: Axel, you know what I mean.

Axel: No I don't...

Riku: Oh well...lets just go to lunch.

(Everyone goes to lunch and they meet up with everybody else.)


	4. Lunch Time!

-Lunch Time-half of 9th-12th grade

Riku: Hey Saix! Xemnas!

Xemnas: What the fuck do you want?!

Riku: ...Just wanted to say hi...

Xemnas: Oh...well then, hi!

Saix: So...how have your classes been so far?

(All of the other grades come into the cafeteria.)

Larxene: Oh my God! Saix, my classes have been great! I think I met my future husband!

Xemnas: Me too Larxene!

Larxene: ...You met your future husband?

Xemnas: NO! I mean that I think I met my future wife!

Saix: Can we get back on a subject that isn't a bunch of bullshit?

Larxene and Xemnas: ...I guess so...

Saix: Tomorrow, I think we're getting a lot of new students.

Xigbar: So.

Roxas: Yeah of course we are. It's only the first day of school.

Sora: I can't wait until tomorrow.

Kairi: Yeah, I can't wait to see the new students either.

Sora: No, forget about the new students. I just really want to come back to school again!

(Everyone looks at Sora again.)

Sora: WHAT?!

Cloud: Well, I don't know about you guys, but I am about to go and get some food.

Demyx: Oh yeah, I can't believe I almost forgot about the food!

Sephiroth: That's because you're a dumbass.

Saix: Speaking of dumbasses, Xemnas and I have detention after school and it's all his fault.

Xigbar: Sucks for you...

Xemnas: What?! Saix, how could you say that I made you get detention? I'm not the one who randomly hollered, 'No Saix leave me alone I do not want to buy any weed from you!'

Saix: Uh...yes you were...

Xemnas: Oh shit...for real? Well then... I guess I just fucked up.

(Everyone eats lunch. After that, the bell rings and everybody goes to their last periods.)


	5. 9th Grade

-Fourth Period- 9th grade

Roxas: Finally, the last period of the day.

Sora: Yeah, it's sad isn't it?

(Everyone in class looks at Sora.)

Sora: Why does everyone keep looking at me!?

Kairi: Well, I can't wait to go home.

(The teacher walks into classroom, but no one notices.)

Teacher: Neither can I.

Roxas, Sora, and Kairi: Oh shit!

Sora: (Whispering to Kairi and Roxas): Where the hell did he come from?!

Teacher: Hello students. I will be your 9th grade science teacher, Mr.Vexen.

Roxas: Wait, what!? I thought this was sex-education class!

Mr.Vexen: -sighs- No Roxas. There is no such class right now. You should already know about that type of stuff.

Roxas: Oh yeah...I do. Can we talk about it today?

Vexen: Umm...probably!

Roxas: For real!?

Vexen: NO!

Roxas: Damn...

Vexen: Anyways, I have some textbooks to pass out to you.

Sora: A textbook? Just for me? You're the nicest teacher I've ever had.

Vexen: No. I meant for the whole class.

Sora: Damn, and here I was thinking that I was special.

Roxas: You are special Sora. Very, very special.

Sora: Awww, thanks Roxas.

Kairi: Ummm...I don't think that he's being nice.

Vexen: When you get your book, turn to page 2 and start reading until you get to the end of chapter 1.

Sora: Aw man. You aren't going to call on some people to take turns and read out loud?

Vexen: Hell no, what do you think this is, elementary school?

Sora: Yes.

Vexen: ...

Kairi: Can we just get started already?

Vexen: Uh yeah. Get started class.

(27 minutes pass, and a lot of students are finished reading.)

Vexen: Okay class-

Kairi: Wait! I'm not finished reading yet!

Vexen: Why?!

Kairi: Because chapter 1 is a long ass chapter.

Vexen: I understand, it is long, but still, you should be finished now.

Kairi: Oh. Well, I'm not.

Vexen: -sighs- Well then, 10 more minutes.

Kairi: Yay!

Vexen: Shut up and read.

Kairi: Boo!

(10 minutes later...)

Vexen: Alright. Now is everybody done?

Class: Yes.

Kairi: No.

Vexen: Damnit Kairi!

Kairi: I'm just playin! I am done reading!

Vexen: Okay now, as you have seen, the first chapter is about the human body. Somebody tell me something that they already know about it.

Sora: Girls have penises and boys have vaginas!

Everyone in the class: ...

Vexen: Damn Sora. You're wrong as hell.

Sora: Really?

Roxas: It's the other way around.

Sora: Oh yeah. I guess I just forgot...

Vexen: Let's review some of the stuff you read.

(After they go over the chapter and after Vexen writes some notes on the board, 23 minutes pass.)

Vexen: The bell to go is almost about to ring. Pack up your stuff and get ready to leave.

Roxas: Yay! Finally!

Kairi: I can't wait to get home!

Roxas: I can't wait to watch t.v.!

Sora: I can't wait to go to school tomorrow!

Kairi and Roxas: (looking at Sora) WTF!

(The bell rings and everybody leaves. Kairi, Roxas, and Sora joins everyone one the bus.)

Cloud: Where are Xemnas and Saix?

Larxene: Yeah, they aren't on the bus.

Sephiroth: Remember, they said they had detention after school.

Larxene: Oh yeah. Those bad mother fuckers.

Xigbar: Wow, it's the end of the first day of school, and they are spending it in detention. Ha Ha Ha! I can't wait until they come back!

(The bus stops and everyone gets off. Saix and Xemnas are still at school heading to Ms. Aeris' class for detention.)


	6. Detention

Author's note: This has to be one of my most favorite chapters ever

-Detention-

Saix: I can't believe this bullshit! It's only the first day of school and we already have detention! This is so gay!

Xemnas: Don't worry. I'm sure we won't have to stay here long. Wait a minute; did she even mention how long we had to stay?

Saix: No. As long as we get back home before 6:00.

Xemnas: What happens at 6:00?

Saix: Um...nothing important. Let's just go and get this over with.

(Saix opens up the door while Xemnas is still wondering about 6:00.)

Ms.Aeris: Hello Xemnas and Saix!

Xemnas and Saix: Whatever...

(Saix goes to the back of the room and sits down. Xemnas is still standing up in the front of the classroom with Ms.Aeris.)

Xemnas: So Aeris, how about after class we-

Aeris: How about after class we all just go home?

Xemnas: Damn! You, me, and Saix! Well, I didn't know that you were all like that!

Saix: ...

Aeris: I meant that we all just go to our own houses alone!

Xemnas: Damn! You, me, and Saix! Well, I didn't know that you were all like that!

Saix: ...

Aeris: I meant that we all just go to our own houses alone!

Saix: But, I don't like to be alone. I would like to go to your house and-

Aeris: Saix, go eat your cereal!

Saix: But...I wasn't eating any cereal...

Aeris: Well then, go over your notes from class today.

Xemnas: If he even took any notes...tryin' to sell me weed and shit...what's his problem...

Saix: What, I don't have any weed! At least...I don't have any more...

Xemnas and Aeris: ...

Saix: Well, what about Xemnas!? He probably didn't write anything either! Gettin' me in detention! Now, I'm probably not gonna get home until after 6:00!

Aeris: What happens at 6:00?

Saix: Ummm...Nothing important...

Xemnas: That's the same thing he said to me! Probably going to get more weed...

Saix: No! I just need to get home as soon as possible!

Xemnas: Oh yeah, I forgot. He does need to get home or his mom will beat him up.

Saix: Whatever. Look, can we just hurry up so I can leave?

Aeris: Xemnas, go sit down! Yes Saix, lets begin. Now class, I mean... Xemnas and Saix, take out whatever pitiful excuse for notes that you have taken today.

Xemnas: Wow...that was messed up... what you said was completely uncalled for...

Aeris: What I said was completely uncalled for!? What about you randomly hollering, 'No Saix leave me alone I do not want to buy any weed from you!'

Xemnas: What! I never said anything like that!

Saix: Uhhh...yes you did...that's the reason why we're in here in the first place...

Xemnas: Oh yeah. I keep forgetting, I did say that.

Saix: Well, come on, let's get started! It's already 5:02!

(Aeris makes Saix and Xemnas go over the notes from today. After that, they do some work on it. When they get out of detention, the time 5:45.)

Xemnas: Glad that's over. Oh look, 15 minutes until 6:00.

Saix: You bastard! Now I'm going to miss it! I'll never get home in 15 minutes!

Xemnas: Well, according to that clock up there, now you have 14 minutes.

Saix: Damn it! I gotta run home!

Xemnas: I'll run with you!

(Saix and Xemnas begin to run to Saix's house. Saix doesn't really notice that Xemnas is still running with him. When they get to Saix's house, he busts in his room and turns on the t.v.)

Saix: Just in time...5:58!

Xemnas: Just in time for what?

Saix: Well I...Damn! I didn't know you were here! You need to get out now!

Xemnas: But, I want to see the show too!

Saix: No you wouldn't. You'd just laugh...

Xemnas: Come on now Saix, you know me better than that! I won't laugh.

Saix: ...Okay then...

(Saix picks up the remote control and turns to channel 8. When Xemnas sees what show Saix wants to see, he busts out laughing.)

Xemnas: What! You made us run all the way here to see Arthur! What the fuck!

Saix: Damn you Xemnas! I knew you were gonna laugh! Go home!

Xemnas: Ha Ha Ha Ha! Aw man, this shit is priceless! I'm about to leave!

Saix: Well then go, I don't care!

(Xemnas leaves Saix's house. Everyone else is already at home. One night passes, and it's time to go back to school.)


	7. New Student 12th Grade

Author's Note: Sorry for the wait. I usually update a little faster than this, but I haven't had the internet for a while...anyways, I hope you enjoy the story!

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-On the bus ride to school-

Xemnas: His ass had me running just to go home and see Arthur!

Xigbar: Arthur! What the fuck!

Roxas: -laughing- I remember that show!

Axel: Damn...and I thought that Saix was the most mature out of all of us...

Cloud: That's almost funnier than Sephiroth and his diary!

Sephiroth: Damn it Cloud! Shut the hell up!

Larxene: That is so funny that if I start to laugh, I might throw up.

Demyx: I wonder if any of the new students like to watch Arthur...

Everyone on the bus, except Saix: Ha Ha Ha Ha!

Saix: All of you guys suck...

(After that, Saix says nothing for the whole bus ride while everyone else is laughing for the whole bus ride. When they get off of the bus, Saix tries to avoid everyone until first period.)

-First Period- 12th grade

Xemnas: Hey Saix! We're going to have a new student and I heard that his name is Arthur!

Saix: Shut the fuck up Xemnas!

Aeris: Well class, as some of you might know, we are having a new student today!

(Aeris looks at the clock and sees that the new student is late.)

Aeris: Well she's supposed to be here, but it seems that she is a little tardy...

Xemnas: What?! She's a little retarded! Damn, first we got Saix over here watching Arthur, now I'm in class with a damn retard!

Saix: She didn't say retarded! She said tardy!

Xemnas: Oh, tardy! Thanks for clearing that up for me Arthur, I mean, Saix!

Saix: Xemnas!

Aeris: Oh look, it's the new student!

(The new student walks into the class.)

Aeris: Hello, what is your name?

Student: Uhhh...Paine...

Aeris: Okay then Paine...I believe that there's a seat in the back next to Saix and Xemnas.

Paine: Um, Saix and Xemnas?

Saix: I'm Saix and Xemnas!

(Paine goes in the back and sits between Saix and Xemnas.)

Xemnas: -whispering to Saix- Hey, I think the new girl is hot.

Paine: Umm...Saix doesn't sit next to you any more...I do...

Xemnas: Oh yeah...you do...

Saix: Um, hi. I'm Saix.

Xemnas: I already know that!

Saix: I wasn't talking to you!

Paine: -laughing-

Saix and Xemnas: ...

Xemnas: Saix, lets switch seats. I want to sit next to the new girl.

Saix: You already do sit next to her! I do to, she sits in the middle of both of us!

Paine: -whispers to Saix- Does he always act like this?

Xemnas: ...Uhhh...he likes Arthur!

Saix: Xemnas, what the fuck is your problem!

Paine: Ummm...I kind of like Arthur too...

Saix: ...For real...

Paine: No lie.

Xemnas: You two are the craziest mother fuckers I've ever met...

Aeris: Alright! Xemnas, Saix, if one of you could help Paine catch up with the work we're doing now by showing her some of your notes-

Xemnas: We don't have any notes! Remember, we were in detention yesterday because Saix was trying to sell me some weed and then we ran to his house just to see Arthur!

Aeris: Uhh...oh yeah...Wait a minute! You and Saix ran to his house to see Arthur?! What the hell?

Xemnas: No, I didn't want to see it! I didn't even know why he wanted to get home before 6:00! I ran with him to his house and he said he wanted to see a show! At first I thought that Saix was hiding some hardcore porn from me, but I was real disappointed to find out that he wanted to see Arthur!

Paine: Did you see yesterday's episode?

Saix: Hell yeah! I wouldn't miss it for the world!

Paine: I've seen almost every episode 3 times!

Saix: Did you see the Arthur Christmas movie?

Paine: Yeah! They play that movie every Christmas!

Saix: Do you have a favorite character?

Paine: Umm...Arthur, he's okay because sometimes he just acts like a punk bitch.

Saix: Yeah, that's true. My favorite character is...

Paine and Saix: Francine!

(Paine and Saix begin to laugh. Xemnas, Aeris, and the rest of the class are looking at them like they're crazy. Their conversation goes on for about 10 minutes until Aeris stops them.)

Aeris: Okay, okay! Now, here are some text books for you.

(Aeris pulls out some really big, heavy textbooks.)

Xemnas: Aeris! Let me help you with that!

Aeris: Oh, thank you Xemnas!

(Aeris bends over slightly and Xemnas stands really close behind her.)

Aeris: Ummm, Xemnas? Could you back up a little bit?

Xemnas: Oh, I'm sorry Ms. Aeris.

(Xemnas begins to laugh quietly while he passes out the books to everyone.)

Saix: You're such a damn pervert.

Xemnas: I know...

Saix: Oh yeah, Paine, I think that I should warn you about Xemnas. He's sort of a...pervert...

Paine: Well, he doesn't seem that bad...

(Xemnas sits back in his seat next to Paine. Paine's textbook falls on the floor and she bends over to pick it up. While she's bending over, Xemnas puts his hand on her butt.)

Paine: -hurries up and sits back into the seat- Okay Saix, now I know what you mean!

(After 48 minutes of doing book work and listening to the teacher, the bell for second period rings.)

Aeris: Okay class! Good bye!

(Aeris stands up while the class leaves. Everyone leaves except for Xemnas. Xemnas slowly walks up to Aeris and puts his hand on hers.)

Xemnas: Aeris...

Aeris: Uh, Xemnas...what the hell are you doing?

Xemnas: You do remember when I helped you with the books earlier today?

Aeris: Ummm...yeah...

Xemnas: Well...I think that you...owe me.

Aeris: -sighs- Xemnas...if you don't want me to get fired for student-teacher relationships, I suggest that you go now.

Xemnas: -sighs- Shit...

(Xemnas walks out of class looking sad. Saix and Paine are still out there waiting for him.)

Saix: I don't mean to be rude after what just happened, but...smooth move jackass.

Paine: Awww, don't worry Xemnas, I'm sure that everything will work out in the end...or not...

(Paine and Saix begin to laugh while all three of them walk to their second periods.)


	8. New Arrivals 11th Grade

-Second Period- 11th grade

Sephiroth: We're gonna have 2 new students in our class.

Xigbar: How do you know?

Sephiroth: Because, I asked Ansem.

Larxene: Ansem! Ansem! Where?

Cloud: Right there.

(Larxene looks at the door and Ansem isn't there.)

Larxene: Ansem? Cloud, stop that!

Cloud: Look, there he is right there.

Larxene: Listen Cloud; don't play around when it comes to my future husband, Ansem!

(Cloud, Sephiroth, and Xigbar are looking at Larxene like she should be embarrassed because Ansem is standing right behind her.)

Sephiroth: Uh, Larxene...look behind you...

Larxene: Why?

Ansem: I'm your...future husband?

Larxene: -embarrassed- Um, um, um...I don't know?! Oh look, who's that behind you?!

(Larxene quickly changes the subject while the 2 new students are standing at the door.)

Ansem: ...you must be the new students! Let me see your schedules...okay class, this is Yuna and Luxord. Yuna, you can go sit beside Xigbar. Luxord, you can go sit beside Larxene.

Larxene: Hi Luxord, I'm Larxene! What do you like to do?

Luxord: Uh...gamble...

Larxene: Oh that's nice...Wait a minute! Gamble!

Luxord: Did I studder?

Sephiroth: Do you like to play regular cards?

Luxord: Of course. Anything that deals with cards. I even have a deck with me now.

Yuna: I think I just met the cutest man ever...

Xigbar: Yeah, I am cute...

Yuna: ...I wasn't talking about you...

Xigbar: What!?

Larxene: She said, not you mother fu-

Cloud: Anyways, who were you talking about?

Yuna: Our teacher...Ansem...

Larxene: ...What a coincidence...I just happen to think that also...

Ansem: If you two haven't noticed...I'm still standing right here...

Yuna and Larxene: ...

Sephiroth: Can we get off of the subject of how cute our teacher is?

Cloud: You think he's cute too!? What the hell is wrong with you? First you have about 3 diaries, now you think our teacher is cute?

Sephiroth: What?! I never said anything like that! And stop talking about the whole diary thing!

Cloud: Whatever...

Ansem: Class...

Cloud: We better be quiet before he tells us to shut the fuck up again!

(Everyone in class gets quiet while the new students are looking confused.)

Luxord: He said that before?

Xigbar: Yeah.

Yuna: Wow...that's messed up.

Ansem: ...anyways...let's do so some work!

(Ansem makes the class do some work. After everyone is done, 45 minutes pass and the bell ring.)

Ansem: Damn...it's that time already...

Xigbar: Yeah, it only seems like time has went by fast because someone spent most of the beginning of class talking about future husbands.

Larxene: Whatever...

Ansem: Bye everyone!

(In the hallway)

Yuna: I can't get over our smexy teacher!

Larxene: Yeah...

Xigbar: okay bitches, we need to get to next period before we're late!

(Xigbar, Larxene, Cloud, Sephiroth, Yuna, and Luxord run to third period.)


	9. 10th Grade, Riku and Rikku?

-Third Period- 10th grade

(Xaldin is sitting in class alone while waiting for the students to arrive. While he's there, he's looking over the list of students that's supposed to be there.)

Xaldin: (in his mind: I still have some students coming that's supposed to be in my class. Great...more of those little bastards...)

(After that, the students begin to come into class.)

Demyx: Hi Xaldin!

Xaldin: Hey Demyx...Class, I'll be right back.

Axel: What! You're going to leave us here, alone?! What if one of us dies?!

Xaldin: Umm...I really doubt that...I have to go get the new student so, everyone sit down and shut up.

(Xaldin leaves to get the new student. A few minutes pass and Xaldin comes back but he is alone.)

Xaldin: Okay class! This is the new student!

Riku: Uh...no one is there...

Xaldin: What!

(Xaldin looks at the door and no one is there. Everyone is still looking at Xaldin. When he turns all the way around, the new student is hiding behind him looking nervous.)

Axel: Come on! Don't be scared! I don't bite...sometimes...

Xaldin: This is the new student, Rikku!

Riku: I'm not a new student...

Xaldin: Not you! Her!

(Rikku is holding on to Xaldin's arm and hiding her face in his shoulder.)

Xaldin: Forget it...I'll just teach the rest of class like this...

Rikku: Okay! Okay! I'll go sit down...

(Rikku goes and sits next to Riku.)

Riku: Hi, I'm Riku!

Rikku: But, there's only one me...

Riku: No, I mean that my name is Riku.

Rikku: Oh!

Demyx: I'm Demyx!

Rikku: Hi Demyx!

Axel: My name is Axel!

Rikku: I don't care...

Riku: Rikku, when you got here, did you have to check into the principal's office?

Rikku: Yeah. I only saw the principal, but I was with his cute assistant principal. I have to go back there after this class.

Xaldin: Well then, let's finish up so you can go. Oh yeah, Rikku, here's a book for you.

Rikku: -blushing- Oh...thanks Mr.Xaldin...

Xaldin: You can just call me Xaldin if you want...

Rikku: Haaa...Xaldin...

Xaldin: ...Uhh...Okay...let's get started...

(Xaldin gives everybody some work. Rikku seems to keep calling on him for help so he thinks that something might be wrong. After 32 minutes, class is over.)

Xaldin: Alright class, time to go.

Rikku: Aw man...

(In the hallway)

Rikku: Where do we go to next?

Demyx: Lunch.

Rikku: Yes!

Axel: Um Rikku, why did you keep asking Xaldin for help?

Rikku: Well because, I just wanted to talk to him.

Riku: Well then why don't you just go talk to him after class.

Rikku: I don't know...I guess I never really thought about it...oh well, lets just get to lunch.

(Axel, Demyx, Riku, and Rikku enter the lunch room and so do the rest of the 9th-12th graders.)


	10. Principal's Office

**Arthur-I mean-Author's Note: Yay! More progress! After seeing Spider-man 3 I couldn't seem to think properly because I had Spider-man fever. Anyways...ENJOY!**

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(Axel, Demyx, Riku, and Rikku enter the lunch room and so do the rest of the 9th-12th graders.)

Saix: So, are you gonna watch it today?

Paine: Of course! It's like I have to watch it or I'll die!

Kairi: What are they going to watch?

Xemnas: What do you think?

Everyone except for Saix and Paine: Arthur!

Yuna: Hi Rikku, Hi Paine!

Rikku and Paine: Hi Yuna!

Xigbar: I'm guessing that you 3 know each other...

Yuna: Yeah, Rikku is my cousin and Dr.P is my best friend.

Saix: Dr.P?

Paine: Just a stupid nickname...

Rikku: I almost forgot! I need to go to the principal's office!

(Rikku runs to the principal's office while everyone is still sitting at the table.)

Luxord: ...Um...anyone wants to play cards?

Everyone: Hell yeah!

(The principal and the assistant principal are in the principal's office.)

Xehanort: Hey principal, I mean, hey DiZ.

DiZ: Hi Xehanort...

(Xehanort looks down and sees a broken little table on the floor.)

Xehanort: Wow, how'd you get that table to be so small?!

DiZ: It's not a table! It's a broken footrest!

Xehanort: Oh that's too bad...it's a nice footrest too...

DiZ: Anyways, one of the students who has just enrolled should be coming in here soon.

Xehanort: So...have you ever found out who broke the footrest?

DiZ: Oh my God!

Xehanort: What!

DiZ: Forget the fucking footrest! Right now I need to take care of some business with a student!

Xehanort: Take care of some business with a student...eww...

DiZ: Not that type of business! You're so freakin' annoying! Why aren't you in class with the rest of the students! You're only like 15 years old!

Xehanort: What, I'm not 15! Add 3 more years and that's my age!

DiZ: Whatever, I still say that you should be back in school...an 18 year old assistant principal...that's so gay...

Xehanort: Whatever...hey, is that the student who just enrolled?

(Rikku walks into the principal's office.)

Rikku: Umm, is this the right place? I'm looking for the principal.

DiZ: It says 'principal's office' right on the front of the door.

Rikku: Yeah...that's nice...but, is this the principal's office?

DiZ: -sighs- Yes...this is the principal's office...

Rikku: Okay! Here are those papers on my information from other schools. Can I go back to lunch now?

Xehanort: Sure! I think...

DiZ: Yeah, go back to lunch.

Xehanort: Bye Rikku!

Rikku: (smiling) Bye Xehanort!

DiZ: How do you know her name?

Xehanort: Because, it says it on that paper...

DiZ: Oh yeah...it does...

(Rikku runs back into the lunchroom.)

Sephiroth: You should have just stayed up there. Lunch is about to be over anyway.

Rikku: Aw man!

(The bell rings about 1 minute later. The only people who are still down there are Saix, Xemnas, Paine, Yuna, and Rikku.)

Saix: Hey, Dr.P!

Paine: Yeah?

Saix: Ummm...I was just wondering if, ummm...you would...maybe...like to...come to my house sometimes and maybe we could...watch Arthur together, or something...

Paine: Sure! I'd like that!

Xemnas, Yuna, and Rikku: Aww!

Saix: ...shut up...

(All of them begin to exit the lunchroom.)

Rikku: Aww Dr.P, he's so romantic!

Paine: What are you talking about!? He was just being nice...

Yuna: Yeah right...you don't even let us around you while you're watching Arthur, and now you're going over Saix's house to watch it with him!

Paine: So...that doesn't mean anything...

Rikku: I think it means something...

Paine: I think that we need to get to class!

(Paine and the others run to last period.)


	11. Ninth Grade, Namine and Zexion

-Fourth Period- 9th grade

Vexen: Class, the new students are about to come into class, and so we won't embarrass ourselves, Sora, don't even talk.

Sora: But-but, what if I want to say hi!?

Vexen: Well...you can do that, but just think about the things that you say before you say them.

Sora: Okay beefsteak, I will!

Vexen: -sighs- Just forget it...

Kairi: Hi, what's your name?

Vexen: Uhhh...Vexen...

Kairi: Not you! I'm talking to the new students!

Vexen: Oh! Class, these are the 2 new students, Namine' and Zexion!

Kairi: Hi Namine' and Zexion!

Sora: Hi beefsteaks!

(Namine'and Zexion are looking at Sora confused.)

Vexen: Dammit Sora! Go sit in the corner!

Sora: Aw man, not again...

Vexen: Zexion, go sit beside Roxas. Namine', go sit beside Kairi.

(Namine' goes and sits beside Kairi. She starts to take stuff out of her book bag, and Kairi sees some drawings.)

Kairi: Those are nice pictures. Did you draw them?

Namine': Yeah, I have a whole binder full of them.

Kairi: Can I see?

Namine': Sure!

Roxas: Hey Zexion, are you related to Namine'?

Zexion: No, I just met her this morning.

Roxas: Oh...you know, she's kind of cute...

Sora: -in the corner, in the back of the room- Roxas likes the new girl!

Zexion: ...

Roxas: How the hell did he hear that?

Namine': Roxas, you do?

Roxas: Uhh...umm...

Sora: -in the front of the room- Yup, he does!

Vexen: Take your ass back to the corner!

Sora: But Vexen! You're not being so nice in front of the new students!

Vexen: -sighs- Sora, I'm about to expel you for being stupid...

Sora: Okay, okay! I'll go back in the stupid corner...

Zexion: Is he retarded or something?

Roxas: I prefer to say very, very, special...

Vexen: Alright...lets do some work before I have to kill someone...

(Vexen passes out some work books to everyone. 27 minutes go buy and Vexen tells the class to stop.)

Vexen: Okay class, the bell for dismissal is about to ring and-

Sora: Does this mean that I can come out of the corner now?

Vexen: No. Anyways, get packed up so we can leave.

(The bell rings and everyone gets on the bus.)


	12. After School

Author's Note: Okay, usually I update sooner, but the stupid battery to my computer was broken and I just started school again. Maybe if I have enough time this weekend, I'll post another chapter:) Anyways, sit back and enjoy! Please read and review (cause it would make me happy!)

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-On the bus-

Xemnas: Not that I really care but, where's Sora?

Kairi: Oh shit! I think that he's still back in the corner!

Riku: Damn...that's messed up...

Cloud: So...Saix...I guess that Paine doesn't ride the bus...

Saix: Yeah, I don't think so. I can't wait for the weekend, I have something to do that I've been meaning to do for a long time.

Xemnas: Yeah, I have something to do over the weekend too.

Demyx: Well, what are you going to do?

Saix and Xemnas: -at the same time- Go look for a car!

Xemnas: ...what? You're searching for a car?

Saix: Yeah, I just thought that it was kind of gay for me, a twelve grader, to still ride the bus while I see some eleventh graders drive in a car.

Xemnas: Saix! I know the perfect car for you!

Saix: What? Oh...no, wait, don't even say it-

Xemnas: The Arthur mobile!

(Everyone on the bus starts laughing.)

Saix: ...screw you guys...soon, I'm gonna be driving home!

Sephiroth: Now you can get home in time to see Arthur!

(Everyone starts laughing again while Saix leaves to the back of the bus. A few minutes later, everyone is getting off of the bus.)

-Saix's House- 5:53

(Someone is knocking at the door.)

Saix: What the fuck! Who is this interrupting me while I'm about to watch Arthur?!

(Saix runs to the door and swings it open.)

Saix: What?! Oh! Hi Paine...I didn't know it was you.

Paine: Umm, sorry for coming over unexpectedly...I didn't know your phone number so I couldn't call you.

Saix: That's okay...do you...want to come in now?

Paine: Okay.

(Paine comes in and both of them go into Saix's room.)

Paine: Saix, if you don't mind me asking, where is everyone else who lives here?

Saix: Well...I live by myself...

Paine: Oh shit! Do you ever get lonely?

Saix: Yeah, sometimes.

Paine: How are you able to pay everything off for this house?

Saix: Well...when I was in 9th grade, someone who I know already lived here. They already paid everything off for the house by the time I was in the middle of 11th grade. They didn't really stay in the house, so it was still in good shape. The person who lived here gave me the house at the end of 11th grade in the middle of summer. All I have to do is pay for the things that I want to add to the house, and some of the bills.

Paine: Damn...how many rooms does this house have?

Saix: ...three...

Paine: Wow...

(Both of them are just sitting there quietly for about 2 minutes.)

Saix: Um...well...Arthur is on...

(Paine and Saix watch Arthur. After 30 minutes the show is over.)

Paine: Well-

(Someone is knocking at the door again.)

Saix: What the hell!?

Paine: Do you want me to answer it?

Saix: ...Okay...

(Paine answers the door.)

Xemnas: Hey Saix I-oh, Paine! Am I...interrupting something?

Paine: No...Hey Saix, it's Xemnas!

(Saix comes to the door.)

Saix: What?!

Xemnas: Well, I can see that it's 6:32, and you're probably mad because I interrupted you while you're watching Arthur, or doing something perverted together, or...whatever you were doing...

Saix and Paine: We weren't doing anything like that!

Xemnas: Whatever...anyways, I just came by to give you this-

Saix: A car catalog...

Paine: Can I see that after you? I was thinking of taking Yuna and Rikku with me to go look for a car on Friday or Saturday.

Xemnas: What, you're looking for a car too? Me and Arthur-I mean...Saix were going to look for a car this weekend too!

Paine: Why don't we all just go together?

Saix: That sounds good.

Paine: Okay. I'm about to leave so I can tell Yuna and Rikku. Bye Saix! Bye Xemnas!

Saix and Xemnas: Bye Paine!

(Paine leaves and Xemnas looks at Saix and starts to laugh.)

Saix: ...Uhhh...what the fuck is so funny?

Xemnas: I know that you and Dr.P have something going on...

Saix: What?! No! We're just friends!

Xemnas: Yeah right. You expect me to believe that you invited her over here just to watch Arthur! You slick bastard...

Saix: -sighs- I will admit, I do like her a little bit...

Xemnas: I knew it...I-

Saix: Okay, bye Xemnas, time for you to go.

(Saix pushes Xemnas out of the door. Soon, 3 days pass and it's Friday after school. The time is 6:07 and right now Xemnas, Paine, Rikku, and Yuna are at Saix's house.)


	13. Cars, Hotels, and DATES! wtf

**Arthur's Note (LOL): Okay, here's the next chapter! Thanks to everyone who reviewed my story (reviews make me happy-) Ummm, I couldn't really think of a title for this chapter, so the title is kind of stupid. Anyways, ENJOY THE STORY-OR DIE! (jk...or am I...)**

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-Saix's House- 6:07

Rikku: Come on Dr.P! When are we leaving?

Paine: Wait! Arthur is almost over!

Yuna: -looks at the time- No it isn't...

Rikku: Yunie is right! It's only 6:07!

Paine: Now it's 6:08.

Xemnas: We should really get out of here. The place might close before we get there.

Saix: No damnit!

Xemnas: -sighs- You son of a bitch...you forced me to do this-

(Xemnas pulls some cords out the back of the TV.)

Paine: -looking shocked- What the hell is your problem?!

(Saix jumps up and goes to the back of the TV. He starts to plug in cords and the TV comes back on.)

Saix: I should kick your ass...you could've broken my TV!

Xemnas: You have about 3 or 4 of them all together!

Saix: -sighs- Okay...we should really go now...

Paine: Yeah, let's head out...

(All of them leave and begin to walk to the car dealership. After 17 minutes, they finally arrive.)

Yuna: Look, I think that's the dealership guy!

(They all go up to a guy in a blue suit. The guy starts to walk away.)

Rikku: Hold it right there beefsteak!

Everyone: ...what?

Dealership guy: ...umm...I'm sorry but if you're here to look for a car then you should come back tomorrow because this place is closing up now.

Paine: What?! How were we supposed to know that?!

Dealership guy: Well...you can kind of tell because no one else is here, all the lights are off, and the sign on the door says,' closed.'

Paine: ...well...no one probably wanted to buy a car today and your lights could've shorted out so that now they don't work. The closed sign could have been a trick, you know, just to fool us...

Dealership guy: Uh, no! I can't let you in because it's closed!

Xemnas: You just won't let me in because I'm black...

Rikku: Yeah! Me too!

Yuna: Ummm, Rikku...you're not black...

Rikku: I'm not? Well, I felt like it this morning...

Saix: That's not the point! The point is that I missed Arthur for you! You son of a bitch!

(Saix runs back to his house.)

Xemnas: Ummm...okay...

Yuna: Forget it. We should just leave now.

Xemnas: Yeah, we should catch up with Saix before he does something drastic...

(They all leave the car dealership. A few minutes later, they catch up to Saix and see him talking to someone.)

Rikku: Who is that?

Yuna: I think it's...some girl.

Xemnas: Okay now Paine, don't get mad if that's his girlfriend.

Paine: I'm not mad!

Xemnas: Whatever...It's probably not his girlfriend, it's probably his dealer...

Rikku: Car dealer?

Xemnas: No...Drug dealer...

(They all walk up to Saix.)

Saix: What the hell are you doing here?

Xemnas: Walking to your house...of course we would find you because you're standing right were we needed to walk. Oh yeah, who is that?

Saix: He's one of my friends from where I use to live, Marluxia!

Yuna: It's a boy?!

Marluxia: I'm not an it...I'm a he...

Saix: Anyways, I was asking him about that car dealership.

Xemnas: Oh yeah! That guy said that we had to leave. He just turned us down because I was black...racist bastard...

Marluxia: Really?

Saix: No, don't listen to him...

Xemnas: Saix just doesn't want you to listen because I'm black.

Saix: ...look Marluxia, I'm about to go now.

Xemnas: He just wants to go because I'm-

Saix: Shut the fuck up! I don't care! Bye Marluxia.

(Saix, Xemnas, Paine, Yuna, and Rikku began to walk back to Saix's house. By the time they get there, it's 8:13.)

Xemnas: It's 8:13. We went slow as hell coming back here.

Saix: Why the hell are you all still here? This ain't a sleepover.

Rikku: A sleepover!?

Xemnas: If we did sleepover, then when we wake up, can you put little chocolates under our pillows?

Saix: What do you think this is, the Holiday Inn?! This isn't a hotel so I'm not putting shit under your pillows!

Rikku: Well, I hope you don't put shit under our pillows. That would be nasty...

Saix: Rikku, you know what I mean!

Xemnas: We should leave. Arthur is getting angry...

Saix: If you call me Arthur again, I'm gonna-

Paine: Look, stop arguing! We all need to go.

Xemnas: Saix said that he wants Dr.P to stay a little longer.

Saix: What?! I never said-

Paine: Okay, I will.

Saix: Oh...okay then.

Xemnas: Well, we'll just leave you 2 crazy bastards now. Bye.

(Xemnas, Yuna, and Rikku leave the house. While they are walking they see 2 people.)

Yuna: I think those are the two boys in my class. I think that their names were Luxord and Xigbar.

Xemnas: Xigbar! Luxord! I don't even know him...

Rikku: Do you think they can see who we are while it's this dark outside?

Luxord: -whispering to Xigbar- Xigbar, there's some black guy hollering my name...

Xigbar: Maybe you owe him money? You seem to owe a lot of people money, and the more that I think about it, we just met about 3 days ago and you already owe me 23 dollars...so, where's my money bitch?!

Luxord: ...umm...hey, that's the girl from our class, Yuna!

(Luxord runs up to Yuna.)

Yuna: Hey Luxord-

Xemnas: Hey Luxord, Yuna said she loves you.

Yuna: What, I never said anything like that!

Xemnas: Yes you did...

Yuna: Luxord I-

Luxord: Why don't we go out some time?

Yuna: R-really? Okay.

Xigbar: ...Well, now that that's out of the way, I'm about to go home.

Luxord: Bye Yuna, see you tomorrow.

Rikku: Yunie...you just got a date in less than 5 minutes...

Yuna: Yeah, I did...and now that I think about it, Luxord owes me 15 dollars...

Xemnas: The only reason why I said that is because I knew that you two would be a perfect couple. I can tell that you like each other.

Yuna: W-what! I don't like him!

Xemnas: Yeah right, that blush on your face says otherwise…

Yuna: …

Xemnas: Well, I should go home because it's 9:23 and I'm already in trouble because I had detention. Bye Yuna and Rikku.

Yuna and Rikku: Bye Xemnas!

(Everyone goes home. One night passes, and now it's Saturday morning.


	14. Weekend Fun!

-Zexion's House-

Zexion: Umm…it's early in the morning…why are you knocking at my door?

Kairi: I know that you may not care, but…will you come with me back to school?

Zexion: Why the hell do you want to go back to school?! It's Saturday!

Kairi: Well, I'm going to get Sora. Don't you remember, Sora got back into the corner on Friday?

Zexion: Oh yeah, he did…okay, I guess I'll come.

(Kairi and Zexion start to walk to school. When they get there, the doors are unlocked.)

Kairi: I didn't really expect for school to be open today…

Zexion: Good thing it is, let's hurry up and get this crazy bastard.

(Zexion and Kairi go running to Mr. Vexen's class. When they get there, they see Roxas, Namine', and Sora walking out of the classroom.)

Sora: Bye beefsteak!

Vexen: Bye Sora…please, try to stay out of the corner.

Kairi: What are you doing here?

Roxas: Well, Riku convinced me to come and get him. While I was walking here, I saw Namine' and asked if she wanted to come with me.

Namine': Yeah, I left so early that Luxord wasn't even awake yet.

Kairi: What! Luxord?

Zexion: Holy shit! Did you sleep with him?!

Namine': Hell no! I guess I forgot to tell you, Luxord is my-

Sora: Father!? I knew it!

Namine': Umm…no. He's my brother.

Roxas: Oh…I was hoping that you weren't going to say boyfriend or something…

Namine': Of course not! Wait, why?

Roxas: Umm…no reason! We should go now, besides, you wouldn't want Luxord to be mad.

(Roxas, Namine', Sora, Kairi, and Zexion start to walk home. While they are walking, they see Axel and Xigbar.)

Axel: I still don't understand how you knew what grade we were going to. Stuff like that is hard to keep up with.

Xigbar: Umm…yeah…it's really not that hard.

Sora: Hi Xigbar and Axel!

Axel: So, you're out of the corner.

Sora: Yup and I plan to stay that way!

Axel: Yeah right…

Namine': Umm, I need to get home before Luxord wakes up…

Xigbar: He's already awake. I saw him today.

Namine': Oh shit! I need to get home!

(Namine' runs off to her house.)

Zexion: Do you think she's going to be in trouble?

Xigbar: No, I was lying. I knocked on the door and no one answered, so he must still be sleeping.

(Namine' runs into her house a few minutes later.)

Namine': Um, Luxord, what are you doing?

(No one answers her.)

Namine': (In her mind: Good, he still must be sleeping…or having sex…but, I think he's sleeping.)

(Namine' walks up to her room and she hears the TV in Luxord's room.)

Luxord: Namine'!

Namine': Damn…am I in trouble?

Luxord: For what?

Namine': Never mind. What did you want?

Luxord: Umm…do you have any money?

Namine': No…

Luxord: …okay…I'm not feeling too good today…

Namine': Oh, is there anything I can do for you?

Luxord: Unless you can pull a better job for me out of your ass, then you could help. Other than that, no.

Namine': Oh…well, I'll let you rest now.

(Namine' goes back downstairs. A few minutes later, Luxord starts to fall asleep again. After that, he hears a loud noise.)

Luxord: -running down the stairs- Namine', what the hell is that?

(Luxord sees Namine' in the kitchen while holding a blender.)

Namine': (smiling) I'm making waffles for us!

Luxord: Waffles? -Looks at the blender- What the fuck?

Namine': Did you have breakfast yet? Are you hungry?

Luxord: No, I didn't have breakfast and yes, I am hungry. How about I help you with that?

Namine': Okay! Umm…waffles don't go in the blender, do they?

Luxord: Hell no.

(Luxord and Namine' begin to make breakfast together. After they get done eating, someone knocks on the door.)

Luxord: -opens up the door- Hey Sephiroth! What's wrong?

Sephiroth: Is Master P here?

Luxord: Master P…do you mean Dr.P?

Sephiroth: Oh yeah! Dr.P!

Luxord: No, why? Is she missing or something?

Sephiroth: Rikku was looking for her and she's not at home or at Yuna's house. By the way, Yuna said when are we going out?

Luxord: I'm not gonna go out with you!

Sephiroth: I didn't mean you and me mother fucker! I meant you and Yuna!

Luxord: Oh! Umm…later today…at…7:30!

Sephiroth: Okay. Bye Luxord, bye…Namine'?! You're brother and sister?

Luxord: Yeah. I can't believe no one knows that.

(Sephiroth leaves and Luxord goes back to Namine'.)

Namine': Luxord, you're going to leave? I thought you said that you weren't feeling good.

Luxord: Yeah, I know, but I'm not leaving until later on in the night.

Namine': Oh. If she comes over, maybe I can make her some waffles!

Luxord: Umm…no. Leave that to me.

(Luxord and Namine' continue their conversation. Outside, Larxene, Demyx, and Cloud are walking close by Xemnas' house.)

Demyx: Um, Larxene don't you like Ansem?

Larxene: Yeah. Why?

Cloud: Speak of the teacher! There he is!

Larxene: Cloud, stop playin around! I'm not falling for that bullshit again!

Ansem: Hi kids!

Larxene: Holy ass!

Demyx: Wait a minute! Did Ansem just come out of Xemnas' house?

Cloud: Yeah he did. I wonder what he's doing there so early in the morning.

Demyx: What if-what if he…slept with Xemnas!

(Larxene and Cloud both look at Demyx like he's stupid.)

Larxene: Just the thought of that makes me want to throw up…

Cloud: Larxene, you should ask him what he's doing.

Larxene: What?! No! I'm not going to get all up in his business! Besides, that might ruin my chances. Isn't that right Demyx? Demyx?

(She looks over and Demyx is gone. They see him talking to Ansem.)

Cloud: You don't think he's asking him about Xemnas?

Larxene: He better not be or I'll…I'll…do something bad to him…

(Demyx runs back to Larxene and Cloud.)

Demyx: I know what you're thinking, and I didn't ask him about Xemnas.

Cloud: Why don't we just go ask Xemnas?

(Cloud, Larxene, and Demyx go and knock on Xemnas' door.)

Xemnas: -opens the door- Damn it! I already told you that I don't want to buy any more fucking cookies! Oh wait; you're not the girl scouts. What do you guys want?

Larxene: What's up with Ansem coming out of your house?

Demyx: Yeah, what's up with that you little whore?!

Larxene and Cloud: …

Xemnas: …Number one: I'm not a little whore…I'm a big whore. Number two: Ansem is my brother.

Larxene, Cloud, and Demyx: What!

Larxene: Ansem is your brother?!

Demyx: You're a big whore?!

Cloud: Do I smell pie?!

(Xemnas is looking at them confused.)

Xemnas: Umm…yes, Ansem is my brother, no, I'm not really a big whore, and yes you do smell pie.

Larxene: Wow…I can't believe that he's related to…you…

Xemnas: Believe it! And Cloud, if you wait here like a good boy, I'll get you some pie.

(Cloud just stands there waiting like a good boy while Xemnas goes in and gets some pie.)

Larxene: So, can we come in, or will Ansem kick your ass if you do let us in?

Xemnas: No! Come in.

(They all come in and follow Xemnas to the kitchen. He cuts them all a piece of pie.)

Demyx: This is really good! Did you make this?

Xemnas: No. Ansem made this one. I made the other one.

Larxene: Wow…he's smexy and he can cook. He is perfect…

Ansem: Thanks!

Larxene: Um, um, um…when are we going to finish that class work?

Everyone: …

Ansem: Sorry Larxene, you can't change the subject this time.

Larxene: (In her mind: That's what he thinks…) Um…can I use your bathroom?

Xemnas: -laughing- We don't have one.

Larxene: How the fuck do you not have a bathroom?!

Demyx: Larxene! Watch your mouth! We are in front of a damn teacher! I bet you'll never hear me sayin shit like that while the teacher is here!

Cloud: Um, Demyx…you're worst than Larxene…

Larxene: Seriously, where is the bathroom?

Xemnas: In hell…

Demyx: So, Xemnas and Ansem, if the both of you are brothers, then which one is the oldest?

Ansem: If one of us is a teacher, and one of us is a student, then which one do you think is older?

Demyx: Okay Ansem, I see how it is. A trick question.

Ansem: …What…

Larxene: Here's a trick question for you. Where is the location of the bathroom?

Xemnas: I already told you, in hell!

Larxene: Xemnas!

Ansem: But really, the bathroom is upstairs, second door to the right.

Larxene: -blushing- Okay, thanks…Ansem.

(Larxene runs up stairs.)

Xemnas: I can't believe that Larxene likes that asshole Ansem.

(Ansem looks at Xemnas with a mad look.)

Xemnas: Oh crap. I didn't know you were still here…

Demyx: Cloud! That was my pie!

Cloud: Well, you weren't eating it.

Demyx: I wasn't because Xemnas made this one and he could've put anything inside of it.

Cloud: -stops eating the pie- Yeah…you're right.

Xemnas: What! You guys don't trust me?!

Demyx and Cloud: NO!

Xemnas: Fine, then get out!

Demyx: But Larxene is still in the bathroom.

(Larxene comes walking down the stairs slowly.)

Cloud: Come on Larxene, we're leaving!

Larxene: Umm…okay…

Ansem: What's wrong?

Larxene: Well…there's a bunch of porn up in the bathroom, but I didn't really want to say anything about it.

(Xemnas goes running up the stairs.)

Demyx: Where do you think he's going?

Ansem: To the bathroom…

Cloud: Uhh, yeah, we should go now.

Demyx: Bye Ansem! Bye Xemnas!

Larxene: Bye Ansem!

Cloud: Thanks for the pie!

Ansem: See you later kids!

(Larxene, Cloud, and Demyx leave the house. After they leave, Xemnas comes walking back down the stairs.)

Xemnas: Okay Larxene! The bathroom is clean now!

Ansem: Everybody left already.

Xemnas: Oh.

(Ansem walks upstairs and goes in his room.)

Ansem: Xemnas! Why the fuck did you put all of that porn in my room?!

Xemnas: Umm…bye I'm going over Saix's house!

(Xemnas runs out of the house.)


	15. You don't have Resident Evil 4!

**Author's Note: Hi Everyone! This chapter isn't that eventful, but trust me, it'll get better. R&R :)**

-Outside of Xemnas' house-

Xemnas: I wonder if they ever found Dr.P? I'd better go check…

(Xemnas runs across the street to Saix's house and knocks on the door.)

Xemnas: I hope he's awake; it's still kind of early.

(Saix opens the door looking tired.)

Saix: What do you want?!

Xemnas: I want to know if you've seen Paine!

Saix: Of course I have. She's here.

Xemnas: What? When did she come over again?

Saix: She came over yesterday, don't you remember? Now, I'm about to go back to sleep.

Xemnas: You're going back to sleep?! What about Dr.P?

Saix: She's asleep too.

Xemnas: What…

(Saix and Xemnas come into the house. When they get to Saix's room, Xemnas sees Paine sleeping.)

Saix: See, she's here sleeping.

Xemnas: She slept over here?

Saix: Yeah…so…

Xemnas: -smiles- You are a slick bastard!

Saix: Stop saying that!

Xemnas: Why should I? It is true!

Saix: But, no, I-

Xemnas: Don't even say that you were watching Arthur all this time! I may not watch it, but I know for sure that it doesn't last all night.

Saix: Okay. We weren't watching TV all of last night. We were playing Resident Evil 4 and we ended up going to sleep.

Xemnas: I love that game!

Saix: Yeah, me too! Remember the part when-

Xemnas: Damn it Saix! Don't try to change the subject!

Saix: Shut up! You might wake up Paine!

Xemnas: Okay, I won't wake your girlfriend up. Hey, doesn't Arthur come on in the morning too?

Saix: Holy crap, I think it does! I'd better go check!

(Saix runs up stairs to go see if Arthur is on. When he leaves, Xemnas starts to wake Paine up.)

Paine: -talking sleepy- What…oh, hi Xemnas. What are you doing here?

Saix: -walking back into the room- Xemnas, you bitch! Arthur isn't on! Dr.P, you're awake now?

Xemnas: Of course she's awake! You're standing right here, you can see her!

Paine: I fell asleep here?!

Saix: Yeah, you went to bed after we played Resident Evil 4. I guess that game tired you out?

Xemnas: I bet that's not all that tired her out…

(Paine and Saix look at Xemnas embarrassed .)

Xemnas: Yeah, I knew it. As soon as Dr.P walked into the classroom, I was thinking, 'I bet that she's gonna be the one to fuck Saix.'

Paine: You did think that…you have problems…

Saix: Yeah, he does. You should stop talking like that or I'll tell your brother.

Xemnas: I don't care! Go tell him! I'm not afraid of him!

(Saix gets up and goes to the door so he can go to Xemnas' house.)

Saix: -hollering out of the door- Ansem! Ansem!

Xemnas: Okay, okay! I'll stop saying that!

Saix: That's what I thought! I-

Ansem: Who keeps calling my name!?

Xemnas: Oh shit! Where did you come from?!

Ansem: Your mom.

Saix: Ohh! Burn!

Xemnas and Ansem: …what?

Paine: -walking up stairs- Umm…that wasn't a burn. Ansem really did come from Xemnas' mom…

Saix: Oh yeah, he did…

Ansem: Anyways, since I'm here, I might as well tell you that everyone has been looking for Paine. I saw Sephiroth and he told me.

Paine: Where is Sephiroth now?

Ansem: I don't know, but he shouldn't be far away. He just came by about 2 minutes ago.

Paine: We should go find him before he gets too far away!

(Ansem, Paine, Saix, and Xemnas run down the street. Soon they see Sephiroth walking down the street.)

Sephiroth: If they think I'm gonna keep going back and forth just to give some message to someone, then they can forget it. I'm going back home to play Resident Evil 4.

Xemnas, Paine, Saix, and Ansem: Sephiroth!

Sephiroth: What do you want now?! You guys are more annoying than Cloud!

Xemnas: We found Paine!

Sephiroth: Good. Wait a minute! Why is the teacher with you?

Saix: He's Xemnas' brother.

Sephiroth: Whoa…

Paine: Where were you going?

Sephiroth: I was going to Axel's house. I let him borrow my copy of Resident Evil 4. 

Ansem: Why, is his copy broken or something?

Sephiroth: No, he just doesn't have the game.

Everyone: WHAT?!

Xemnas: How could he not have Resident Evil 4? Everyone in this story has Resident Evil 4!

Ansem: Even I have Resident Evil 4, and I'm the teacher!

Saix: We have to figure this out. Let's get to Axel's house.

(Everyone goes to Axel's house. When they get there, Sephiroth knocks on the door.)

Axel: -opens the door- Here, take it.

(Axel pushes Resident Evil 4 into Sephiroth's hands.) 

Paine: Why do you want to get rid of it so badly?

Xemnas: Yeah, and why don't you have your own copy of Resident Evil 4?! That's so disrespectful!

Axel: …Well…the reason I don't have one is because my mother said that I'm not old enough to have it. The game is rated M for mature people who are 17 or older, and I'm only 15.

(Axel looks down and makes a sad face. Suddenly, everyone else starts laughing at him.)

Saix: Wow, your mom actually goes by the rating on the box?!

Xemnas: I remember when 12, Ansem brought me a mature rated game and my mom didn't say anything. That must suck for you.

Axel: Yeah, it feels like I'll never get the game.

Saix: Well, if you don't get it, then it'll be nice to know that Axel is going to Hell at no more than 3 miles per hour.

Axel: Shut up, stop lying.

Saix: I really mean it. Didn't you read the book that came with your game? Oh wait, I'm sorry, you don't have the game!

Axel: You're not making me feel any better…

Saix: I know.

Sephiroth: Axel, how about you come over my house so you can play more of the game?

Axel: Hell yeah. Hold on, I'm about to tell my mom.

Ansem: Are you sure that you should tell her? She might say that Sephiroth's house is too _mature_ for you.

Saix: Ohh! Teacher burn!

Paine: …What?

(Axel runs in the house to tell his mom.)

Xemnas: Ansem! You're the teacher! You aren't supposed to be sayin stuff like that that! You're the worse teacher ever…

Ansem: I'm not a teacher anymore! We aren't in school. I'm your brother now.

Xemnas: Well, then you're the worst brother ever…

Ansem: Xemnas, you suck. And why am I hanging out with you guys anyway? I'm running around like a child, I'm too old for this…

Xemnas: Too old? You're only 25.

Ansem: So. I'm going to play Resident Evil 4. Bye bitches!

Xemnas: Bye Ansem! You bastard…

Ansem: What did you say?!

Xemnas: Um…nothing!

(Ansem leaves and then Axel comes back out of the house.)

Axel: Okay, let's go!

Paine: I think I should go back home before I get into trouble.

Xemnas: If you do get in trouble then you might not be able to watch Arthur anymore. You better hurry up.

Saix: Holy crap he's right! Do you want me to walk you home?

Paine: Okay!

(Paine and Saix leave to her house. Axel, Sephiroth, and Xemnas start walking to Sephiroth's house.)

Sephiroth: I hear that Luxord and Yuna are gonna go out together.

Xemnas: Yeah, I made it all happen because I'm great.

Axel: Wouldn't he need money?

Sephiroth: Of course, that's why Luxord got a new job.

Xemnas: Really?

Sephiroth: Yeah, Xigbar told me about it.

Axel: Wow, we should stop by there. Not right now, but after Resident Evil 4 of course.

(They all go to Sephiroth's house and play Resident Evil 4.)


	16. Graveyard Shift

**After a hideously long update...I've finally made a new chapter (even though no one probably remembers anymore XD) Hey a new character is introduced to this craziness, alright! A lot of my earlier chapters have missing words that still go missing even when I upload or replace it with a new chapter. I fear that I may have to change my format of my stories which will be kinda difficult since I have most of this stuff pre-written. Anyways read and review this silly crack story. Enjoy!**

(Back at Luxord's house, Namine' is talking to someone at the door.)

Luxord: Namine'! Why are you standing there with the door wide open?

Namine': I'm talking to someone!

Luxord: I don't care who it is! Close the damn door!

Namine': I'm talking to Xigbar!

Luxord: Like I said, close the damn door!

Xigbar: Come on Luxord, let me in! I got some news about your new job!

Luxord: Okay, come in.

Xigbar: I got some good news and some bad news.

Luxord: Okay…tell me the good news first.

Xigbar: Good news: you got the job. Bad news: someone ran over a dog on the sidewalk in front of your house and I stepped on it, and then walked into your house with it on the bottom of my shoe.

Luxord: -looks down at the floor- Eww…you fucking bastard…

Namine': -comes from outside- What did he say?

Luxord: Where have you been?

Namine': I was outside looking at this nasty dead dog on the sidewalk. Wait a minute, what's that on the floor? It looks like the stuff that came from that dog outside!

Luxord: Well, Xigbitch stepped on that dog and walked in here so now it's all on the floor.

Xigbar: Don't be mad. When you go to your new job you can just pay someone to clean it up.

Luxord: This shit is gonna dry up by the time I get my first paycheck! You clean it up right now!

Xigbar: Okay, okay, I will. I need something to clean it up with!

Luxord: Okay hold on.

Namine': Xigbar, did he get the job?

Xigbar: Yeah, and soon, he's gonna be with the dead people.

Namine': What! Does that mean that Luxord is going to die? No! I'm gonna have to live in a foster home and get adopted by abusive parents who will try to beat and rape me and then sell me to a circus where I'll probably end up dying!

Xigbar: Umm…no…

(Luxord comes walking back into the room.)

Namine': -runs up and hugs Luxord- I can't believe that you're going to die! Why didn't you tell me about it?

Luxord: Because I'm not going to die. I'm just going to do some work at a cemetery.

Namine': Aren't you going to be scared?

Luxord: Nope. I'm just going to be there for a few hours.

Xigbar: Actually, you're gonna be at the cemetery over night.

Luxord: WHAT! We need to get there now so I can find out what I need to do!

(Luxord, Xigbar, and Namine' go to the cemetery.)

Xigbar: Okay, there's the guy who you're supposed to talk to.

Luxord: Excuse me, sir!

Graveyard guy: What? Oh, you must be Luxord! Nice to meet you! Come over here and I'll explain your position at the graveyard.

(The graveyard guy explains the job to Luxord and the others.)

Luxord: Okay. When do I start?

Graveyard guy: Tonight if you want to.

Luxord: I will. Bye sir.

Graveyard guy: Wait a minute! I almost forgot to tell you this! Since you're gonna be working the nightshift, someone is going to be here with you. Hold on, let me go get him.

Xigbar: I didn't know that someone will be here with you. Well, if all of the dead bodies come to life, at least someone will be here to help you fight them off before you both die a horrible, painful death.

Luxord: … um thanks Xigbar…

Xigbar: Anytime Luxord, anytime.

Namine': This graveyard is so dreary…

Graveyard guy: Luxord, meet Vincent Valentine. He's going to be working with you.

Vincent: Hi Luxord.

Luxord: Hi Vincent. Are you new also?

Vincent: No…well…kind of. I've been working here for a week and a half now.

Namine': Luxord, it's getting dark. Don't you think that we should to home so you can prepare for your job?

Luxord: Yeah, she's right. See you later Vincent. Bye, umm…graveyard guy…

(Luxord, Xigbar, and Namine' return to the house. On the way there, Luxord sees Yuna.)

Luxord: Oh shit! I almost forgot about my date with Yuna!

Xigbar: You better go tell her about tonight.

Luxord: Yuna!

Yuna: Hi Luxord! I have to tell you something.

Luxord: I have to tell you something too.

Yuna and Luxord: I can't go out tonight.

Luxord: Oh, you too…

Yuna: Yeah, maybe we could go tomorrow. Wait a minute, what is tomorrow?

Xigbar: Tomorrow is the day after today.

Yuna: Yeah I know that…

Xigbar: Then why did you ask!

Luxord: She meant what is tomorrow's date!

Xigbar: Oh! I get it now!

Luxord: Yuna, I think that tomorrow might be Monday.

Xigbar: No tomorrow is Sunday, and-

Luxord: Shut up! No one asked you…tomorrow is Sunday.

Yuna: Okay! Well bye Luxord, see you tomorrow!

Luxord: Bye Yuna!

Namine': We really need to go now.

Luxord: Yeah she's right, let's go.

(All 3 of them go to Luxord's house. When they get there Namine' starts watching TV and Luxord gets ready to leave.)

Xigbar: Namine', are you scared of the dark?

Namine': No. Why did you ask?

Xigbar: Because you kept asking if we could go home.

Namine': I just wanted to get home so I can watch New York Undercover.

Xigbar: Oh. That show is bitchin.

Namine': Yeah.

Luxord: -running down the stairs- Namine', I'll be gone the whole night. Do you want to stay here, or spend the night over someone else's house?

Namine': Whose house would I stay over?

Xigbar: She could stay over my house. Or Xemnas' house…

Luxord: How do you know if she could stay over Xemnas' house? He isn't even with us right now.

Xigbar: Number one: Xemnas is always with us…in spirit. Number two: Xemnas would let any girl spend the night over his house, even if he didn't know that she was coming.

Luxord: Err…maybe not his house. But once I think about it, Ansem is over there and he is a responsible teacher.

Namine': Can I go over there?

Xigbar: You don't want to come over my house? Why, don't you trust me?

Namine': No, not really…

Xigbar: Yeah, you're right. I don't trust me either…

Luxord: Okay let's go.

Namine': No! Not now!

Luxord: I have to go to work!

Namine': But New York Undercover is on!

Luxord: New York Undercover!

(Luxord runs over to the TV and sits down.)

Xigbar: Uh Luxord…you can't watch TV right now.

Luxord: Um, you're right. Come on Namine', let's get over to Xemnas' house.

(Luxord, Namine', and Xigbar runs over to Xemnas' house. When they get there, Luxord knocks on the door.)

Xemnas: -opens the door with a baseball bat in his hand- If you mother fuckers come knocking at my door this late at night again, I swear that I'll beat the shit out of you right in the middle of the street!

Luxord, Xigbar, and Namine': …

Xemnas: -puts the bat down- Oh…you're not the girl scouts…what do you want?

Luxord: I was wondering if Namine' could spend the night over here while I go to work.

Xemnas: Okay. Hold on while I go check what Ansem is doing because he might be watching porn right now.

Ansem: Xemnas, you know damn well that I wouldn't watch porn right here in the living room! I'm watching New York Undercover!

Namine': I love that show!

Ansem: Well then come in! It's getting good!

(Namine' runs in the house and sits next to Ansem.)

Luxord: Thanks Xemnas. Bye Namine', be good.

Namine': Bye Luxord, don't die!

Luxord: Umm, okay.

Xigbar: I'll see you later Luxord.

Luxord: Alright.

(Xigbar goes home and Luxord goes to the cemetery.)

-The Graveyard- 9:30 pm

Vincent: Hey Luxord, over here!

Luxord: -runs over to Vincent- So, we just have to stay the night here?

Vincent: Yeah. We are going to stay in that room over there.

(Vincent and Luxord walk over to the empty room. When they get there, it's locked.)

Luxord: This place is kind of big.

Vincent: Yeah, it has a refrigerator, chairs, couches, TVs, and bathrooms.

Luxord: Damn, we could have a party in here!

Vincent: Um…I don't think that anyone would want to go to a party in a cemetery.

(Vincent tries to open the door.)

Vincent: What the hell!

Luxord: What's wrong?

Vincent: The door is locked!

Luxord: What! We have to stay out in this graveyard all night?

Vincent: No, I'll just find the keys. They should be around here somewhere.

Luxord: Great, now we have to go look around for some small keys, in the dark, in a graveyard…

Vincent: You got it! Let's go.

(Vincent and Luxord begin to look for the keys. They search for about 15 minutes until Luxord hears some strange sounds.)

Luxord: What is that? Hey Vincent, do you hear that? Vincent? V-Vince…where are you? Aw man… The ghosts of the dead bodies probably got him. I've gotta go save him!

Vincent: Hey Luxord! I found the keys!

Luxord: Oh Vincent! You scared the fuck out of me! Wait…are you covered in shit?

Vincent: Hell no! It's mud.

Luxord: And why are you covered in mud?

Vincent: So I can find the keys.

Luxord: …what did you do?

Vincent: Nothing really. I just dug up a few graves.

Luxord: The keys were in a coffin?

Vincent: No, actually after I dug up the graves, I just found the keys in my back pocket.

Luxord:…

Vincent: -starts to smell his hands- Damn, dead people stink…

Luxord: -looks at Vincent and then looks around the graveyard- We should clean this up. I don't want to get fired on the first day.

(Luxord and Vincent start to bury the bodies back into the coffin.)

Vincent: Hey Luxord, once you think about it, dead bodies are kind of interesting.

Luxord: Interesting? What the hell is so interesting about them? They're dead and I find nothing interesting about- holy CRAP! This guy has no head! Bitchin!

Vincent: See what I mean?

Luxord: …Okay, I guess I do. Besides, all of these dead bodies remind me of Resident Evil 4.

Vincent: That game is totally bitches.

Luxord: Yeah, whatever that means...let's speed this up because handling dead people isn't exactly my most favorite thing to do.

(Both of them clean up the bodies.)


End file.
